The Space Explorer

It finally came. That day that my thesis is due to my committee. And it was ready. And a total of 230 pages. However, only 226 of those pages are legitimate content (not title page, copyrights, etc…). ONLY. Only 226 pages.

The title of this post is the title of my thesis. The Space Explorer. How crazy is that? I wrote a book. A full-fledged book, which warrants proper citation by italics or an underline.

If you’re going to print your thesis, you might as well decimate an entire Amazonian rainforest for the cause.

And those four copies are all double-sided. The finished, completed, bound thesis is single-sided. There will be a stack over twice the size of a single copy.

Shiiiit. I started looking through my copy and I keep finding mistakes. Baaaalls. And I thought this was going to be a professional post.

So what is my thesis about? It’s titled The Space Explorer, you figure it out. I’m sorry. As I’ve been explaining it, it’s a creative exploration of the concept of space. Ultimately it accumulates into the space of identity as it blossoms from memory.

There is a total of twelve pieces, plus the introduction/artist’s statement. Six are straight prose short stories/novellas. Four are villanelles. One is an imitation of Italo Calvino’s Invisible Cities. And one is a narrative story told through haiku.

If you start from the earliest piece in this anthology, this has been six years in the making. One of the short stories I wrote a draft of when I was a sophomore in high school.

Two of the villanelles were written over this last summer. On a dare from Reese’s Puffs. The other two villanelles are certainly about him. Or, rather, my feelings concerning the situation he and I had. And certainly most of the haiku narrative is about him.

That is where the space of memory comes into play. So many of the works are inspired by events in my life. Thoughts I’ve had. Memories I’ve made. And how they’ve shaped my identity. The introduction I wrote does this idea better justice than what I’m doing now. My brain’s a little fried.

I’ve gotten what I wanted. What all my female characters wanted.

Finally.

Freedom.

— “Red Butte Beauty,” by Rachel A. Carter

 

Stuff my Soils Professor Says:

• You wouldn’t know it until you start to poke at it
• They call them drunken forests
• Have you heard of tin foil?
• I drive my Explorer back and forth across my lawn…
• When in doubt, say “organic matter”
• This looks complicated. It’s not. I just like the graph.
• That works because it dissolves a little bit of the glass [ammonia as a cleaning agent]
• We’re going to talk about fixation in a non-psychological way in this class
• You’ll recognize this immediately as a mug.
• Now we’re going even further in time. I won’t say the end of time.
• Tropical soils: these are the things dreams are made of
• …places you’re not going. Maybe you are. And good for you.
• That number is not my age [Avagodro's number]

 

By the by

I updated my “Who’s who” page because it was many moons ago since I last changed anything there. I added people, changed a few names to nicknames instead. Not for any real purpose other than nicknames are fun. I will continue to add people as they become regularly mentioned.

In lieu, I will also be updating my “About me” page because that one hasn’t been changed since I first started this blog nearly four years ago.

Times, they are a’changin’.

Before too long I’m going to have to change a few details about being in college. What do you know? I’m going to graduate in May.

I’ve been applying for jobs. There’s a museum job I really want, so I need to get that application in the mail shortly. Then I’m waiting for a local watershed to post their openings. I have an in at the watershed, so that is hopeful. And sounds like a fun place to work. And I get to work outside and do lots of hiking. And nearby Lance’s mother’s house. All positives.

There’s also several basic jobs I’ve applied for. Not what I want to do with my life, but can see myself doing temporarily until I get where I want to be. Jobs that will give me good workplace experience and act as stepping stones to something larger.

I’m also considering, once I get closer to graduation, approaching several local newspapers about doing a column of sorts. I need to do more research and work out all the details. I’m certain my past newspaper-writing experience will come in handy for this. Even though freelance journalism isn’t my thing, I could do quite well with a themed column.

My thesis… Ah, that needs a post all of it’s own. A lot to discuss about my thesis. But that is for another time, another day.

 

Tomorrow

I’ll be glad when five o’clock tomorrow evening rolls around, and my day is over. Not because of Valentine’s Day. Though I’m not a fan of that holiday, I’m not dreading tomorrow due to it. I have a boyfriend. We already did our Valentine’s Day stuff.

No. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow because:

• It’s a Tuesday. Tuesdays are my long days
• 8 am exam in Soil Science
• Turn in a paper for Canadian Literature
• Mandatory Honors 499 meeting
• Soil Science lab
• Exam in History of Jazz

All I want to do is relax and write. And sleep.

 

Back at Fort Literature…

Oh, my Honor’s thesis. It’s due April 11th and my defense is April 25th. However, before all of that, my reading list is due March 20th. It’s called a reading list, but really it need to be re-named because thesis writers are allowed to add other media, such as film and song.

It’s supposed to include at least twelve works. Specifically ones that have influenced or impacted us greatly. Something that’s changed our outlook. It only has to have had a profound effect on us, not necessarily a work that is profound in the worldly sense.

As an English major, one would think comprising this list would be easy. I think it made it all the more difficult. I was extremely critical of what I have read. I’ve read hundreds of books just in my college years. I’m supposed to narrow it down to a small list?

My reading list is something I’ve considered since the end the spring semester last year. It’s taken me nine months, but I think I’ve just about got it.

1. Watership Down by Richard Adams
2. Another Perfect Catastrophe by Brad Barkley
3. A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley
4. Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler
5. Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino
6. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
7. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
8. Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust
9. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
10. The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler
11. Tombstone
12. Doctor Who, “3.5 Daleks in Manhattan” and “3.6 Evolution of the Daleks”
13. “My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors,” Moxy Fruvous, Bargainville

Whoo! Have the list! Now to annotate!

 

Stuff my Soils professor says:

• This is not a magic list handed down from the lords of soil science.
• Our beloved soils.
• Our friend, aluminum
• … commercial break is over…
• … so we don’t feel alone on planet Earth.
• There are no Martian questions on the prelim.
• …played you Jaws — the arrival of the glacier.
• … you can see an example of a soil creep. — That’s not your soil instructor.
• How many of you have heard of the term “pan?” (a couple people raise hands) How many of you have been in a kitchen?

 

The Favorite Game

And so begins the onslaught of school-related books! This one is by Leonard Cohen. Yes, the same Leonard Cohen who is a singer-songwriter.

The book is broken up into relatively short chapters. Individually, I like each chapter and, individually, each chapter makes sense. On occasion, the previous and following chapters with make sense in context to the one in between. I suppose, even as a whole, the book makes sense, but there is not straight line of plot. There is character development, but the progression of events is meandering. Usually in a book, you can map out each plot point, but not so with The Favorite Game.

It is a beautiful mix of prose fiction and poetry, as is a lot of Cohen’s writings.

In between reading The Favorite Game, I’ve also been reading poems from Stranger Music, also a Cohen writing. There is much discussion of love. But can’t you say most writers meditate on that? For Cohen, there’s a touch of the bittersweet in love. The wonders of what it can do and the despair it can bring.

 

 

Spring Semester

I just enrolled in my classes for the upcoming spring semester at the University of Maine. More or less, I got into all of the classes I wanted to. There was only one class that I’m not officially in yet. It’s Advanced Writing Fiction. I need to submit a writing sample to the professor and obtain instructor permission.

My problem with this was I don’t quite have the required number of pages to submit. Or really, that many pages of my writing that I actually like. But I’m currently writing a re-representation of a scene in Richard III for another class, so that’s creative and will count. This paper combined with my short story “Red Butte Beauty” will give me the 10-15 pages for the sample.

And if I don’t get in, I’m calm enough about it that I will take a break. I will only take twelve credits instead of fifteen. I will submit another writing sample for the next semester. I will just take it easy for one semester. It will be good for me.

 

In Which, Last Day

Today is my last full day on campus for the 2009-2010 academic year. I have one exam tomorrow, but I should be packed and out by 4, so I don’t count it as a full day. Tonight is the last night that I will spend in a dorm room. Ever.

As with the last day of school in my pre-college days, I have mixed feelings. Getting done with school work is always a good thing. However, not seeing my college friends is not good. Before college, when summer came along, you and all your friends all lived, generally, in the same town. It was easy to visit everyone. Now, I have friends all over the state. I have friends who live out-of-state. That makes it especially difficult to visit friends, especially when everyone has to work and has different work schedules. Aside from my roommate, because we made specific plans to see each other, I probably won’t see any one over the summer.

To make it even worse, I am moving off campus next year. That is a fantastic thing, but that means it will be even more difficult to see my on-campus friends. Or maybe I’m over thinking this and being way paranoid. I’m sure everything will turn out fine.

In other news, I still haven’t heard from Alex since last night. This is quite unnerving for me.

 

In Which, 50 Questions Part Two

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Milking cows. Really. I am my most content in the milk parlor. I loved my job over the summer, which was milking cows. I love it even more when I milk my boyfriend’s cows with him. Few things are better than those moments.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Probably settling for what I am doing. I’m an English major, what is what I believe in doing. However, there are a lot of classes with that major that I’m just settling for what I am doing. Like Reading Poetry. I hate that class, but I have to take it.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

Wow. My life would already be half over… If I was going to die when I was around forty, I would have already told Alex that I love him. Right now, I have the time to wait to tell him until I’m absolutely sure he’s ready to hear it. If I knew my life would definitely be a lot short, I would take more risks, be more forward, live for the moment.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

Until recently, like the past year, I haven’t been in control of my own life. I was always aiming to please someone else. Whether it was my parents, or relatives, or teachers, or my ex-boyfriend, Taylor. I put my own needs and wants on hold to make others happy. But lately, I’ve been doing what makes me happy. That has been working out very well for me.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Both. I worry a lot. I want to do the right things right. In other words, I want to do the right thing and do it correctly. In my mind, the two aren’t a separate question.

 

In Which, Procrastinations

I should be writing my first paper for this semester’s Honors course. I have the outline all written out, but I plainly don’t want to write it. I have no motivation. I have no interest in the topic. I would just be coasting along in the assignment. I would be bored.

I do need to get it done, though. I have until Monday at 9:00am. I would like to get half of it done today. We’ll see.

A status update on the paper later, maybe?

 

In Which, Back At It

I’m back at the grindstone. I returned to college after my two week Spring Break. But alas! it was too short. And much too stressful.

Luckily, I only have two classes tomorrow, so I can ease back into school. Now, if only I can stay awake during those classes. I really haven’t had to go to class after having been on Lexapro for an extended period of time. It’s been at least three weeks and I’m still having that really tired, over exhausted side effect. I guess when I go back to the psychiatrist next week, I’ll be changing medications again.

Fantastic.