Hey-yo!

This is a simple entry to say that I am alive.

Also, I do plan on posting at a better frequency than I have in the past month. Or that is the idea. Wait and see if it actually happens!

 

Mockingjay

This was the final book in the Hunger Games Trilogy.  And I did actually finish it a couple of days ago; almost a week. Again, life came up. Working 22 hours in two days leaves one lacking in energy to do anything, let alone write about their thoughts and feelings on a book such as Mockingjay.

In my comments about Catching Fire, I was right that the second book was building up to a big climax for the third. This last book reminded me a lot of what caught my attention with The Hunger Games.

While reading this book, it made me realize today’s society is involved in their own sort of Hunger Games. There is no killing of children in a bloody competition, where only one can win. A major theme in the trilogy is the fact that the Games do not stop in the Arena. There is the Game of knowing each of your actions causes a cascade of results, for better or for worse. You have to watch what you say, and to whom, because who know what someone else might have hanging over your head that can be used against you.

Aside from that, this book was heart-wrenching. Until the end. I don’t know what it is about the ends of epic book series that always bothers me. ** SPOILER ALERT** It’s like, “Okay, she ended up with Peeta and never saw or heard from Gale again.” Yes, this is a young adult novel, but I felt as though Katniss only deeply cared for Peeta, not loved. And I felt as though Peeta coming back around from being Hijacked could have been developed a little more. But like I said, it is a young adult novel and it was already 400 pages. Not to mention, the love story wasn’t the point of the series, as far as I can tell. It’s a whole lot deeper than some story of “star-crossed lovers.”

I look forward to seeing what Suzanne Collins will produce next.

 

Corned Beef Re-Hash

Ah, life. Where to start… Where to start? There have been many missing details for the past few days. Or weeks, really, I suppose. I’ve been busy and distracted and pretty much out-straight until recently.

On May 5th I graduated from the University of Maine. I may not have been salutatorian, like one of my roommates, but I still held my own academically. This means I am the first person in my family to graduate from a 4-year program. Which is a pretty big deal and kind of strange. As I’ve mentioned in the past, it’s not something I actively thought about. And it has me wondering, although everyone is super proud of me now, will there come a time when I am resented for it?

My parents and my mother’s parents attended my graduation and all those festivities. The day before graduation, there were two ceremonies I had to attend. In the morning was the Honors College Celebration, where each graduating Honors student received a certificate, an engraved personalized metal, and a fancy stein.  There was brunch and feasting and smoozing. At the very start, my thesis advisor just loaded me down with compliments to my parents about how well I did this past year with my thesis, what an honor it was to work with me, and admiration for how hard I work.

Then in the afternoon was the Academic Recognition Convocation. This was for students in honors societies, in the Honors College, or student athletes.

That night, after having a wonderful barbecue with my family and my roommates and their families, my two roommates and I went out to test the liquid holding capacity of our Honors College steins with the Honors College footing the bill of the first drink.

There was actual graduation. It is what it was, and that’s all I really need to say.

My parents and my mother’s parents… Whoo, boy. They have gone above and beyond what was necessary for gifts. My mother’s parents got me a new camera. I’ve wanted a new camera for a while now. I wasn’t thinking anything too fancy. Just a newer version of what I already have. Maybe a step better. This camera is like 50 steps better. Those big fancy, DSLRs with interchangeable lenses. Yeah. You know those? I now have one. And it is fantastic. I can’t even believe it. I told my grandparents tons of times they did far too much for me. But apparently my grandmother knew this was exactly what she was getting me since December.

My parents gave me a shotgun. A 20 gauge Remington 870 compact model with an extra rifle barrel. Compact model is just another way of saying “kid model,” but doesn’t she just shoot like a dream. There’s just enough recoil to remind you that you are handling a dangerous weapon, not that I need a reminder of that. While I did some target shooting in the gravel pit at work, I’ve yet to get close enough to a turkey to get a shot off at it. I can say there’s going to be a lot of skeet shooting in my future.

After graduation, Sam, Kayla, Little Chris, and I stayed at the house a few extra days. Whiskey Chris had already gone off on his own adventures before graduation. Sam and I had a couple of loose ends to tie up on our theses and filling out job applications in a quite place. Other than that, we watched a lot of superhero movies.

Last Wednesday, I returned to Motherland and spent my first night there since mid-August 2011. For a few days, I was a little depressed. While I have a job, it is my summer job of milking cows. Which is something I hadn’t intended to go back to. It’s not a bad job, by any means, but in my mind, I was already going to have a position relating to one of my majors. Since pre-school, I have only ever been a student. It was in second grade that I realized the dedication I needed to have to exceed in school. I had received bad grades on my second trimester report card. I didn’t know why, but it upset me a lot and I wanted to get good grades. Now, of course, I realize the poor grades were most likely a result of my dog dying and then moving. A lot of stress for a little girl. From that moment on, I was an academic.

I am well aware a person never stops being a scholar or learning, but life as I had known it is over. Almost immediately after returning home, I started looking at classes and degrees at the nearby colleges. You know, in case I do have to stay at Motherland for a while.

I have spoken with Lance since I returned home. And we’ve agreed to give it another try on a provisional basis. So, I’m on probation, as he said. At least until I “get my shit together.” Which may never happen. Either way, we’ve been having a lot of discussion and I foresee us having a lot more conversations on the topic.

I am still applying for jobs. Actually, I have an interview on Monday that I’m pretty excited about that. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m not sure what my summer, or the rest of my life will consist of, but hopefully it will be happy.

 

Catching Fire

I actually finished this a couple of days ago, but extenuating circumstances have kept me away from my computer for the majority of the time. I’ve managed to check my email and that’s the extent of it. But those details are for another time, another post.

After the bam-bam-bam there-it-is plot of The Hunger Games, the second book in the trilogy seemed to start off slow. Then, when the action began, it seemed to go too quickly. There was the entire book building up to the last twenty or so pages of material of particular interest. It was all good writing and all interesting, but it was only the last chunk that really drew me in, and away from my surrounding life.

In my opinion, Catching Fire, while a fantastic book in its own way, was a means to set up for the finale, the last book, which I have yet to begin reading. I am certainly looking forward to it, though.

 

There it went

I am now officially a University of Maine alumna!

Hello, Bachelors of Arts in English (creative writing concentration) and biology!

 

From Sam, one of my roommates

 Hmm, which piece of advice will work best for tomorrow, smile, have fun and don’t let your h…no I don’t think that’s it. How about don’t be a dumb…nope, that one doesn’t seem right either. Wait a minute! I’ve got it! The hard part is over. We are graduating and therefore, we don’t need advice for tomorrow…well aside from the usual don’t trip and smile business.

 

Note to Self:

“Degrees of Gray in Philipsburg” by Richard Hugo is an excellent poem.

For those who haven’t read it, do so soon. Here, I’ll help you: Click here.

 

The Hunger Games

After four years of doing minimal reading “for fun,” four years of being restricted to academic works, the first book I decided to read was The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Yes. Young adult fiction.

All I have to say is: What a great choice I made for the first book I really got to choose for myself.

This book is relatively new and with the movie in theaters, I don’t want to give away any spoilers. (As much as I love doing that).

I was curious. “What’s all this hype about?” And I kept seeing quotes or gifs from the movie. I grew to be intrigued.

Many times while reading, I found myself caught between two decisions. a) continue reading because it is completely gripping, or b) set the book down for a moment to grasp the enormity of what just occurred. Generally, I would gently close the cover and sit quietly, my mind whirring its way through the plot up until the point.

Aah! Dystopian novels!

The nature of the book had me questioning the validity of the actions of each character. What is truth and what is simply their motive in order to survive?

Do you know what’s great? You know how I enjoyed this so much and wish it didn’t have to end? It’s a triology.

 

More Books I’ve Read, But Haven’t Posted About

• The Cinnamon Peeler by Michael Ondaatje
• The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje
• Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust
• Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler
• The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

 

The Mo(u)rning Report

Yesterday afternoon and evening, everyone kept asking me how it feels to have completed my thesis defense. There was no real answer. I was shell-shocked. I was still too close to the event to discern how I felt about it. Was I supposed to be overjoyed? “Yay! It’s over!” How do you react to the end of something that is six years in the making?

My two roommates, Sam and Kayla, who also defended their theses this semester told me: “Just wait until the day after. You wake up in the morning and it feels great.”

Well, it’s the morning after. How do I feel?

Sad.

Truly. Honestly. I feel sad.

It’s like when you’re getting ready to put an animal down. Days, or even weeks ahead, you made the arrangements with your veterinary. As much as you can, you prepare for the slated day. It’s never enough. You’re still left with this empty feeling, even though you knew what was coming.

Or, it’s like a relationship that, no matter how much you enjoy the other person’s company, and no matter how much everything is going right, there is a large reason why you must break up with them. You had all of these happy times together, but they must come to an end.

For defending my thesis does mark an end. All semester, I set myself up so I don’t have to worry about the grades on my finals (I still will, of course). You know you did something right when, if you receive a 0 on the final, you will still have an 84 in the class. And you only need to get a 64 on the final in order to still have a 100.

So, my defense was the last big obstacle in my course of graduating. Aside for a few formalities, college is over for me. All my life, this goal I’ve been gunning for is over. And I’m still working on discovering my next goal. It’s a big, scary time for me right now. I’ve never been anything other than an academic, a student. I know what that entails. I’m good at that.

What next?

Obviously, trudge through the formalities left in my college career. Two more classes. Three more finals. A slew of graduation ceremonies.

Move back to Motherland. This is going to be intense. It’s going to require a lot of cleaning and sorting and casting away remnants of my childhood. Work at the dairy farm until I find a solid job.

Continue applying to jobs. As of this moment, the total count is 23 applications sent out. There have been some good ones. And then some… Not preferential ones… Times are tough.

Contact Lance again. Last night was the first time I spoke with him since the break-up. Nearly 2 1/2 weeks. I think he and I need to sit down together once I’m back at Motherland and have a Big, Long Conversation about Life. A lot of this is dependent upon whether or not I get an out-of-state job.

For now…. Preparing for finals and graduation!

 

The Best Defense is a Good Offense

For now, all I’ll say is I was awarded High Honors!

Not rejected! Hell, yeah!

 

Today’s the day

Thesis Defense this morning at 10am.

Am I ready?

You betcha!

For now… We’ll see how I feel once I actually get there.